The Dark Side of Rationality
Do You Find Vulcans…Attractive?
Is it Their Ears?
When I was first introduced to the Vulcan race (Star Trek), my eyes lit up, and my hands touched my ears; just to see if perhaps…they were even the slightest bit pointed. It was not really the ears that attracted me, it was their logic. Their ability to put aside emotion, to see clearly, make the quick decision, focus and perform at a higher level than most humans, because emotional stress was not in their DNA.
Do you find comfort in data, in logic and the rational?
You May be Part Vulcan if:
You get right to business with clients and forget to say hello and ask how they are
You find the emotions of others tiresome when faced with a clearly logical decision
Your desire to share your knowledge, has you misinterpreting social cues
You feel being right is of the utmost importance
You’ve been called chilly…perhaps even cold by those closest to you
You’re shocked to learn that someone’s feelings were hurt by some rational point you made
You believe showing emotions are a sign of weakness
You’re touching your ears now to see if they’re pointed
It all comes down to ones and zeros, right? Let’s see the data. Let’s push aside all the emotions surrounding the circumstances at hand. Emotions just get in the way of logic, and logic is clear and clean. The logical answer is the right answer. Knowledge and facts rule. This is a lens I’ve seen the world through for much of my life. I’ve called it the scientist within me, and have taken pride in my ability to just look at the facts, to be rational. Recently I was asked to really delve deep into myself and explore the Vulcan within, and things got a little murky.
Being hyper-rational, like many of the saboteurs, comes from a place of fear and insecurity.
You may be afraid of showing emotions. Maybe you were teased or witnessed others being chastised for being too dramatic, being too emotional. You could be afraid of getting hurt, and putting your emotions into a locked box, kept you safe from potential pain. You could be afraid of being vulnerable, because you learned somewhere along the way that it was a sign of weakness.
You may feel insecure in other areas of your life. Exuberantly expressing what you know and sharing your knowledge is where you feel most confident. Maybe you didn’t sit at the cool kid’s table. Maybe you weren’t a natural athlete, funny or charming in the way some people are. You were a good student though, able to achieve good grades and solve problems faster than others. Drawing confidence from your intellect had you focus more on facts than anything else. Truth knows no emotion, right?
Here is where it hurts you (and in some cases hurts me):
You’re so secure in what you know, that it makes it hard for you to question yourself. You may get into a discussion, another has a valid counterpoint, your gut tightens and you quickly change the subject. You dismiss what the other is saying or vehemently start citing supporting data for what you’ve said. This fear of not being right, inhibits you from potential learning opportunities.
You see the logical choice for another’s dilemma, and casually (perhaps even robotically) state “this is the only choice you’ve got, this is the right decision”. Regardless if the choice is ‘right’, you’ve failed to acknowledge or validate how the person may be feeling. That lack of empathy, of being able to put yourself in another’s shoes limits your connection to others. Science has proven that we do need connection, so don’t even go there.
You hold yourself back from experiences where your intellect may not play a key role. You have become so dependent on your intelligence, that you opt out of trying things for fear of feeling vulnerable.
Having a lively debate may be your way of connecting with another. Unfortunately, the other person may feel like they’re being attacked. You could have no idea of their feelings, since you’ve removed yourself from yours, thus you cannot relate to theirs.
Emotions are part of being human, and ignoring them makes it hard for you to form true connections. There’s more to life than knowledge, not everything is cut and dry. This week, try to ask people how they are, say hello to them before talking about work or a task that needs to be completed. Try something out where your knowledge doesn’t play such a key role.