The Third Judge, is Still Outside...
Writing Down Citations for the Bar Owner
She walks into the bar, and immediately starts scanning the joint, looking for you. Eyes locked in, she hurries over with a look of disgust and hopelessness etched on her face. She places her list of grievances in front of you, glowers and says, “well this might be the worst place we’ve been yet.”
Judge Grettel Gray Skies (name optional), has a keen eye for the plight of the circumstances that surround you. With pen and paper, she is making notes and scrutinizing every situation letting you know how horrible it is.
How the odds are stacking against you:
“This is a national gym, but you are such an outstanding trainer, and bring in so much money for this small location. You just thought they’d respect you and break company policy to give you an extra week of paid vacation. You must be so pissed at them. This gym sucks.”
“You can’t believe your trip was cancelled last week, and now you’ve been laid off, all due to some stupid virus. Guess your only option is to watch some really bad TV, not workout and piss and moan about your situation. This is just your luck, isn’t it?!”
“Once again, you’re working both days on the weekend, because this job is sucking you dry and this is the way life is.”
Grettel has high standards, and those high standards are for your benefit. The problem is when these lofty expectations are not met. When what you want to happen doesn’t happen, that is when Grettel takes personal offense. She has you focusing on the expectation, what is lacking and what is not, and that is the key. Focusing on WHAT IS NOT, leaves you feeling powerless, because you can’t do anything about something that isn’t.
What you could do instead is WORK WITH WHAT IS:
“Okay, you are doing a great job, seriously outstanding, but you are a trainer at a national gym. Corporate policy is corporate policy. Yes, the gym is benefitting from your success as a personal trainer, but so are you. All of those clients were gained through the gym, and your percentage per session has increased because of it. Does getting pissed about a policy you knew about when you were hired help in anyway? It’s not personal, it’s policy.”
“Alright, pretty sure a global pandemic did not occur just to cancel your trip and lay you off. Since you really have no power over the state of the world, how can you respond in a way that’s in your best interest? Well, definitely keep working out and eating right, there is a pandemic happening and staying healthy sounds like a good option. Then maybe you could start building up your company. That would make something good come out of this.”
“Right, you are working on the weekend again, but do you actually need to stay at that job? Have you even said anything to management about not being able to work every weekend? Are they making you or are you choosing to, and if you don’t want to, what can you do about it?”
Listen, the panel of judges are there for a reason, they all have their purpose, but they can be self-inflated, and will wield any power given. Truth is, they can’t sentence anyone or anything without your consent. The final verdict needs to be made by you, and that means you need to listen to the whole case and dig deeper. Ask for a motion, another witness or a recess. You can make it what you choose, and in the end the judges will have to agree.
What if I told you there was a way to rewire your brain for greater happiness and success, would you be interested? Do you think that the brain is static, that people cannot change? Is the idea of digging deeper into your inner self, unsettling to you? What if that’s just your judges trying to hold power?